Asian

Lady Bugs

Today I received a 71% on a chemistry test and wanted to die.

My GSA sponsored a Tea Club during lunch today at school and it was pretty rockin'. We served cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches and cookies from the local bakery. The vice principal brought the tea. They were all from David's Tea and I'm not usually a David's Tea kind of person at all because I'm not really into fruity teas or chai teas but they were actually pretty good. We held it in the library which has about seven tables and all of them were full! It was quite the turn out considering that our GSA meetings usually only have about 6 attendees. I was really proud of us. And I got to use the tea mug that Kevin bought me for Christmas!

My tea mug!

Also, yesterday I finished the hardest session yet of the sun run training! It's hard stuff but I'm working on it!

My love, my love.

I've been reading Life With Hitler it's a biographical novel about Eva Braun, who was Hitler's mistress/lover and wife for about 20 hours, (which I can't decide if it's hauntingly beautiful or naive on Braun's part). It is the classic tale of 40 year-old and 17 year-old who fall in love through a friend, or in this case Hitler's private photographer. I basically only know the beginning and the end and am still learning the in between. I've researched their history together before and I know that Eva Braun did some crazy things and I know that they got married a day before they both committed suicide in a bunker. The fact that Hitler married Eva Braun must show some sort of soft side, right? I feel like Eva is a lost character in Hitler's game. I mean, she was there for him for more than 12 years yet we hardly talk about her in history. Not to mention, she was beautiful.
I really really enjoy history. I'm the teacher assistant for a wonderful teacher at my school and it's for history. Today I sat in on a lesson. She was talking about how all the other countries had to appease Hitler in 1938 and 1939 and it was just wonderful and exciting. I don't want to be a teacher, but I wish I could have a job where I was just able to talk about history all day. I'm excited to go to University so that I can study everything history all day. Oh the joys.

Marina & the Diamonds

time.

I remember one time when my Papa was driving me home after I had stayed over at his house and he was explaining that there are 60 seconds in 1 minute and that time passes really quickly. And I remember arguing that 60 seconds is actually a really long time. I stared at the crappy digital clock on his ancient dashboard until a minute passed and I was just silent and I just kept staring and then it finally changed to the next minute and I said, see that took forever. I remember it feeling like an eternity. Papa said, "holy, it's already been a minute?" and I just couldn't understand how his minutes were faster than my minutes.
As I grow up, I understand how minutes can seem to go by so quickly. It seems like everything is moving so fast and time is passing faster and faster. Now that I'm half way through my grade twelve year and so many things are changing I just wish time would slow down a little. Do I though? Writing those words feel like a lie. Maybe I just want to finish this year but I'm also very afraid of what's going to happen in the future. Part of me is excited for failure and excitement and life but an even bigger part of me doesn't want to have to deal with it.
It's hard to believe that that was 12 or so years ago. I must have fallen asleep on that car ride and when I woke up I was still in his van and we were parked outside my parent's business. Papa's van had these really weird handles on the sliding doors in the back and I'm not sure if it was because of my sleepy haze or because I was alarmed that I was alone but for some reason I couldn't figure out how to open the doors. I just couldn't figure it out even though I had opened them thousands of times before but this time I just couldn't figure it out so I started screaming and yelling and sobbing. But I don't remember what happened. I just remember being stuck in the van and screaming but I don't remember how I got out. I know that it felt like I was in there for a really really long time though.

icky

I have been disgustingly sick for the past few days so I haven't been able to think of anything clever to put on the blog. However, I did go see Lady Gaga in Vancouver on January 12th! It was awesome! When she sings live her voice is absolutely perfect. It's so full and wonderful and I just don't even know how to describe it. But it was really excellent. She did a lot of outfit changes throughout the show which was somewhat distracting and often left the audience to wait for a few minutes. Her show was more art than anything else. I've never experienced a concert like hers before. It was really top notch. 

Anyway, I'm off to get better. Will update later. Hopefully. If I survive this. 

Angry

There was a school shooting this morning in Kern County, California. A sixteen year-old student opened up fire on a classmate because apparently he felt he'd been feeling bullied, yet he had 20 rounds of ammunition in his pocket. This is the second school shooting in America in 4 weeks. I am repulsed, saddened, disgusted, angry. I can't even comprehend why someone would do this. But perhaps, the thing that is angering me even more is that nothing has been done about it. I'm not even talking about since the Newtown shooting. I'm talking about the Aurora shooting at the midnight showing of Batman. In fact, maybe before that. There have been SIXTEEN mass shootings in America just in 2012. Does this not frighten anyone? Why is it that it's legal for one to buy an assault weapon? Why does anyone need an assault weapon? What about Trayvon Martin? That young boy who's life was taken by George Zimmerman. Why did George Zimmerman need a gun? Seriously? And it's not even about just this year. It's about all the years and incidents where people's lives were taken when they didn't need to be. What's most frustrating of all is that it took the killing of 20 innocent children in order for Obama and everyone else to take a second and say, "hey, maybe we should be a bit stricter on these gun laws."
I am disgusted and angry.
But, perhaps maybe it's not just about gun laws. Actually, not maybe. It actually isn't just about gun laws. It's about mental health. Why aren't people like James Holmes or Adam Lanza getting help before they decide to commit these horrible crimes. I read a blog post written by Liza Long it's called "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother." It basically went viral after she wrote it. It gives insight on what it's like to be the mother of someone with mental issues much like Adam Lanza's. Poor mental health can completely change the person you are, the way that you think and so much more about you and your life. It's a whole other ball game. Why aren't we talking about mental illness now instead of treating it like it's the skeletons in your closet?

Inspiration

"To young Canadians: All my life I have worked to make things better. Hope and optimism have defined my political career, and I continue to be hopeful and optimistic about Canada. Young people have been a great source of inspiration for me. I have met and talked with so many of you about your dreams, your frustrations, and your ideas for change. More and more, you are engaging in politics because you want to change things for the better. Many of you have placed your trust in our party. As my time in political life draws to a close I want to share with you my belief in your power to change this country and this world. There are great challenges before you, from the overwhelming nature of climate change to the unfairness of an economy that excludes so many from our collective wealth, and the changes necessary to build a more inclusive and generous Canada. I believe in you. Your energy, your vision, your passion for justice are exactly what this country needs today. You need to be at the heart of our economy, our political life, and our plans for the present and the future." 

This is a piece of Jack Layton's letter to Canada when he died in August of 2011. Every time I read it, it creates a thriving ambition inside my soul to make a change in some way or another. It. Is. Brilliant. 

Wonderful 1987

Today I was pulled out of class because the super intendant of my school district wanted to talk to me. I'm a member of the education board in my school district. Basically, I go to meetings every few months, give opinions on things in my school district and get on the good side of the people who run our schools. It's pretty awesome. I really enjoy it, it's an interesting mixture between politics, education and issues like bullying. It also gives me insight on plans within the school district. The point is, she came to talk to me about a student forum. It's about 50 kids that get together for half a day and discuss how they think their education should be taught to me. It's about individualized learning and all of that stuff. A whole different way of thinking and teaching. Something that anyone could benefit from! For instance, if you're one of those people who would rather do projects on different subjects to earn your grade then you can! If you'd rather read a textbook then take a test, you can do that too! It's suited for you, to help you succeed. It's perfect for a school like Hope Sec where almost half of the student population is failing or about to fail, where education has been looked at the same way since the '70's and where the teaching staff simply don't understand what it's like to be you.

One of my favorite things in the world is yearbook. It is so absolutely and wonderfully interesting. I get to write, take pictures, design, all sorts of things. Yearbook inspires me on so many levels. I can't say enough about it. Our theme this year was chosen by yours truly and so, I've taken on a lot of the responsibility. Including creating the dividers between sections. I set up a little photo shoot for the Mug Shot divider (mug shots are those things that they take on picture day that everyone always dreads), there's three pictures on the divider and I'm going to post my favorite one because I just think it's so beautiful. It's a 1987 yearbook from my school which they called "Despair '87" isn't that strange? Here it is:

I've been having my tea with cinnamon lately. Pretty yummy.

To my recent disgrace.

I am currently on my second week of training for the sun run! Running makes me feel unbelievably good. I feel energized and happy and healthy. I'm really enjoying it. I'm even feeling a bit of a difference in the way I run. I'm really happy about it. It also gives me an opportunity to listen to music. I've been listening to Mumford & Sons this past week and my favorite song is Ghosts That We Knew from their new album Babel. I love the guitar sound and obviously Marcus Mumford's voice. Beauuuutiful.

Also, since I'm graduating in June and will have to pay for university in September, I've started applying for scholarship! They're so much work though! Reference letter for this, personal statement for that, write a 5,000 word essay on why you deserve $300. It's insane. The strangest part for my though is thinking about how many other students are applying for the same scholarship. It makes me wonder if perhaps they need more than I do, or are they more deserving? Are they less deserving but have better marks? Am I less deserving of it but because of my extra-curricular activities that somehow makes me a better candidate? It's scares me a little bit because as badly as I want my education to be paid for, is there maybe someone who needs it more than I do but for whatever reason I might get it? Or maybe the other way and I'm more deserving? It's just freaks me out to think about. For instance, I'm applying for a scholarship worth $3,000 but part of the criteria is to have an 87% grade average in grades ten, eleven and twelve. Even though in grades eleven and twelve I did and am surpassing that standard (and had to work my bum off for the marks I recieved), in grade 10 my average was only 86.2%. So, even though I'm super involved in the community, my school and in my academics now, that 0.8% might keep me from receiving $3,000. I'm not sure that's fair but that's the way she goes.

New Year Resolutions

Yes, I have given into the culture that revolves around the first day of a new year; creating resolutions. Thus is me, typically typical. I have two. 

1. Create and maintain a blog. Since it's my graduating year, I feel like I should do something new and different that will keep my mind off of things. A little release from stress. And a good way to practice writing! Basically the blog will just be about the things I do and I'll probably talk about my other resolution, pop culture, current events, bloggy kind of things. 

2. RUN THE SUN RUN!! Aaaaaaahhh!!!! I actually feel like this is the craziest thing ever but it's going to be awesome! I've already started training. The Vancouver Sun Run website gives you a schedule you can follow. It seems simple enough. It's 3 run/walk sessions a week that get progressively harder until April 21! I've started mine early though just because I'm scared. I'm totally looking forward do doing it though! 

I'm really excited for 2013. I'm graduating in June, hopefully going to the university of my choice in September and just going to try to be as happy as I can! Here's to a hopefully, wonderful new year and all of the adventures waiting to happen.