Tween Memories

School

Tomorrow is the first day back to school after two weeks off.
On one hand, I'm really excited to get back, to finish school and graduate.
On the other, I just don't wanna.

Guidelines

LGBTQ Exclusion

I think that perhaps, the strangest feeling, is being excluded by a group of people who are feeling excluded.
On Tuesday I went to a LGBTQ Youth Leadership conference. I was planning to stay until Thursday evening. My roommates were really nice and so was my group leader.
I want to make it clear that I am an ally to the LGBTQ community. I am a straight girl supporting every single LGBTQ individual on their journey to where ever they are going. I even help run the GSA at my school and I love everyone that comes.
I expected to go to this conference to learn, to help, to befriend, really just to support everyone. But it seems that these LGBTQ conferences are not made for allies. They are made for queer youth. And that would have been okay for me, had someone, anyone, bothered to include me.
It seems that the group of people who most want to be accepted in our society and feel they have the most difficulty in "fitting in," can't even let others "fit in," with them.
I am here to support, I am here to be your friend, what does it matter if I'm straight or not? Is it because I'm unable to sympathize with your struggles?

It is a strange experience though. The idea of being excluded because you are not like the rest. I finally, truly understand how they feel. What it's like. But I don't know what to do because this group of people is feeling like they just want to "fit in," but how can they "fit in," when they aren't even willing to accept others for who they are. It is a difficult concept.
In a way, I am happy for the experience because now I know. But it also makes me very sad because I'm not too sure if they even realize what it is that they're doing.

The Man Rant

Last night I went to go see Oz: The Great and Powerful. The movie, I did enjoy. I liked the foreshadowing, the little hints to the Wizard of Oz, etc,. It was a cute movie.
The part that really set me off though was the advertisements before. I think the last movie I saw in theaters was Sinister and I don't ever remember there being that many advertisements. I'm not talking about the long movie trailers at the beginning of movies either. I'm talking about advertisements for cars, phones, etc,.
The entire pre-show was advertising different things and then at 6:30, when the film was to start, we sat through ten minutes of ridiculous advertising. Not even specially made, movie advertisements but the kinds of commercials I can see at home while sitting on the couch! They aren't even good advertisements either, they don't make me say, "hey, I want that." They were weak.
I will throw this out there too, I am all for self-advertising for say a scene card, or your own movie theatre, things related to the movie but an advertisement for the new Chevrolet? Blackberry? Whatever. Seriously. Whatever.
Things like that make me re-evaluate my entire belief system and more importantly, make me want to shove it to the man. Stop trying to sell me a car, stop trying to make me buy your computer, no, I don't want switch internet providers and I will never buy another blackberry. 

Dear Man, leave me alone. As if, as youth, we don't already have thousands of things being pushed on us. As if we don't have to already worry about school, looking nice, and trying to get our parents off our back. I don't need you telling me who I should be, what I should own and how I should live my life. I already have so many other people doing that and I don't need it before I'm about to watch a movie that I just paid $20 to go see.

"Why Are You Doing This to Yourself?"

I've been admitted to the University of British Columbia, I have an offer of admission from Simon Fraser University. My grades are good, my life is good. I have an interview with the editor of the local newspaper tomorrow. I am healthy.
Everything I have worked so hard for is becoming a reality.
So why do I feel so sad?

The Jack Movie Review

Yesterday, as my mind slowly turned to mush, I watch CBC's Jack Layton biopic. I wasn't too sure what to thing about it. 

I want to start off though by saying that I truly believe that Jack Layton is one of the greatest politicians of my time. I admire him and keep his memory close to my ambitions. If you are looking for an inspirational story, it is the NDP and Mr. Layton's leadership in the 2011 federal election. Whether you agree with his politics or not, what he did for the NDP was nothing short of wonderful.

So, feeling this way about Jack Layton, I was really delighted to watch an entire movie about him and his political gain. Mostly his political triumphs because that's what Jack Layton was known for. Right? His politics? Right? 

Apparently not. 

The movie started out alright, admittedly, pretty cheesy but that's what made-for-TV movies are supposed to be like. The first time I saw Rick Roberts as Jack Layton, I was a little.. taken back? Afraid? Worried? Yes, he did look a lot like Jack Layton, if Jack Layton was made of plastic. 

source: http://rabble.ca/whatsup/inaugural-annual-jack-layton-lecture

source: http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/actors-need--courage-to-recreate--jack-laytons-life-heart-and-grist--and-soul-165830146.html

I did really like the choice for Olivia Chow though. I actually thought Sook-Yin Lee was perfect. 

So, the film. It opened up with Layton running, (so cheesy) and then him being diagnosed with cancer, (by the way, can you imagine how awkward it might be if the doctor was a hardcore conservative?), just as the Harper government was about to force out another election. The whole Layton-is-sick-what-will-we-do thing, Layton says nothing will stop him, you know the deal and then as Layton is about to be sent off to his first day of campaigning around Canada and he has a flashback to the first time he met Olivia Chow, (these happen periodically). Cute, romantic, Mr. Layton is a fashionable lover boy, sure. At first at least. 

I will tell you one thing, I am a sucker for romance and cute everything but I did not like this. I did not like it at all. I admit, it did start out kind of cute. Jack Layton from the 70's was really adorable and everything and their first kiss was cute but that's all I wanted to see. There's one point where Layton leaves Chow's apartment and she comes running after him and stops the elevator door from closing and Layton pulls her in and they kiss up to his apartment and then, well, you know. 

Mr. TV-PRODUCER, I DO NOT CARE ONE SINGLE BIT ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES JACK LAYTON AND OLIVIA CHOW HAD SEX. I DO NOT CARE ONE SINGLE BIT, SO WHY DID YOU KEEP THROWING THAT AT ME? 

I think they alluded to it at least five times. I sat there thinking, what is this even about anymore? Is this weird political fan fiction that they've passed off as a biopic? Do people really, honestly, care that much about Chow and Layton's love life? Did they really need sensationalize the movie that much? 

Poor choice CBC, poor choice. 

When Layton and Chow weren't being in love and doing sexual acts, it was more about Layton's fight with Cancer and maybe a little bit about his struggle with politics. 

One part that I did really enjoy was the first time that Layton (Roberts), was given the cane at one of the stops and he holds it up in the air while saying something pro-NDP and everyone cheers and he smiles and cameras are flashing. That was ridiculously cheesy but I did really like it. 

I also wished they had of maybe indulged a bit more in the supporting actor's stories like, Brad Lavigne and Allison's or Karl Belanger's? I know it wasn't about them but I think it would have given the struggle a greater presence in the film. 

I just wished they had talked more about politics for heaven's sake because that's what I was watching it for; the underlying power struggle Layton had to face while in his battle against the blue machine. 

The ending though. How sad. I did shed a tear. I am willing to admit that. It ended with Roberts reciting a part of Jack Layton's final words while he died in Olivia Chow's arms. 

I mean really though, when I look back on the movie all I think about is Olivia Chow and Jack Layton's love life and that make me really upset. 

You can watch it here.

A Waste

Have you ever just had one of those day where you really didn't do anything at all but watch TV and eat and slowly let your mind degenerate?
That was today.
I apologize to my life for having such a wasteful day.

Blurry Memories

Sun Run Update

I am officially on my tenth week of training for the Vancouver Sun Run! And I feel awesome!
I am so happy that I've kept with the training. I feel sharper, more energetic, overall happier. I've been really surprised by what my body can do, it just feels so good. I've also noticed a difference in my body shape and form since starting. I haven't weighed myself in quite a few months but I can feel the difference and I think that's what matters the most.
My next training session is something like run 30 minutes, walk 1, run 20, walk 1, run 10. That will be the longest I've ran for, basically ever. I'm somewhat nervous but I think I'll be okay.
So far, the farthest distance I've gone is 6.5 km! Only 3.5 off from a full 10 km!
On Friday the weather was really nice and I even ran in shorts! Best feeling!

First Day of Spring Break

One of my favorite places in Hope is Rolly's it is so mistakingly trendy. They haven't remodeled ever but somehow, they restaurant itself is super hip and for me, it claims the #1 spot for breakfast and lunch. Kevvy and I went today for what was supposed to be breakfast but ended up being early lunch however, I did have hashbrowns with my taco wrap.
It was such a beautiful day today. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the sun was shining but it wasn't too hot and there was a nice, constant breeze. It made me very happy. We went to the driving range after lunch. Because of my non-existent muscles I'm unable to be any sort of competition for Kevin when playing golf. I think I might have hit the 100 yard line once. Only once. I have a pretty wonderful knack at being horrible at everything Kevin does really well at and vice versa. But because it was such a nice day, I didn't mind.
And then I took a nap for two hours.
Spring break winning.

Rampage Me

PLANNING A BLOGGING RAMPAGE FOR SPRING BREAK.
WHICH STARTS TOMORROW. CAN'T WAIT.

Wonderful Things About Last Week/ Feel Good

I got my prom dress today!

I ran 5k!

I made money!

I spent lots of time with family!

Anti-bullying day!

BLUEBERRY BARS!

The Sea Monkeys are mating!

Noticing a difference in my body from running!

Kevin!

Sweet Cigars!

Doing awesome things in Yearbook!

Mr. Webber!

Getting 93% on a math test!

Seeing my Papa!

Sleeping!

Going to all of my morning classes!

Free cookie at The Blue Moose!

Betsie!

Bowling with Brody, Lincoln and Kevvy!

Feeling happy more than I felt sad!

I am so very very lucky to live the life that I do. No one can take that away from me.

Feeling empowered! 

Strange Coincidence

This past week I've been thinking a lot about getting a job for spring break and the rest of the school year and I was really into but I had the strangest things happen. 

It started out with a friend from school telling me that the place I wanted to apply to was looking for employees so I got totally stoked. Thinking, gee, I'll get a job no problem. So I started working on my resume. 

And then, I messaged my Uncle and he said that it might not be a good idea for me to get a job since I'll be so busy with school and everything. 

Here's some background information: I started selling old clothes and stuff online a few months ago and made quite a bit of money off it so I tried to start selling again but no one was interested, it being right after Christmas and all. That was one of the reasons why I was so interested in getting a job! I wanted money but no one wanted to buy! 

THEN THE STRANGEST THING HAPPENED, as I'm working on my resume I get a message from someone saying they wanted to buy a pair of boots I posted. Now, I posted these boots about 2 weeks ago. Do you see what I'm saying? It totally inspired me to just SELL STUFF instead of getting a real job. I just thought it was so wonderful. As if, someone is trying to tell me something! 

And so, now I'm just going to sell stuff from home for money instead of sweating about getting a job and have real hours. 

I feel like a little business woman when I use Facebook to sell clothes to people. 

Time Part 2

It is March. How is it already March?
That means 1 week until Spring Break.
6 weeks until The Vancouver Sun Run.
13 weeks until Graduation.
15 weeks until my last exams.
20 weeks until my 18th birthday.
26 weeks until my first day of University.
26 weeks until independence.
I can't believe how quickly time is passing. I'm so excited.